28.7.09
27.7.09
I know that it sounds conceited, but I truly hate people that write in a certain way...I feel like there's a whole generation that actually believe the "twilight" saga of books is well written and I want to shout. When I write, I try to do my best and I read what I've written once I'm done over and over again, trying to find as many mistakes as I can to make the whole piece perfect, and there are people that don't bother reading the things at least once. I want to shake people and make them see...and maybe point them in the right direction towards a good grammar class. I'm not saying my writings are perfect, I know they are full of mistakes, but still I try to make them better every day and I put my best in learning things in order not to make the same mistakes; some people don't even bother, and it makes me sick.
There are things that may sound good and right, but then...there are SOME things that sound plain WRONG and it's STUPID not to see it.
There are things that may sound good and right, but then...there are SOME things that sound plain WRONG and it's STUPID not to see it.
22.7.09
Sometimes I reach a point where I truly get to believe I've gone mental :)
Today was a good day: I woke up at 3 pm (approximately) and I went to the Abasto with my sister and a friend...and even though I didn't get to go to Starbucks or slept through the nice, I was in a good mood. At some point, I started thinking (I know, shocking, ha?) and realized there are many things I should be really really thankful for, and for those, I am...but sometimes I don't say it aloud when I should.
It's no secret that I've had my share of bad times and bad decisions and all that..but sometimes I believe it remains like a secret the fact that I am truly grateful for having won the battle against my poor judgment.If it weren't for a couple of people, I really don't know where would I be, or if I'd be here at all. So this post goes out to everyone who helped me, whether they did it consciously or not. But that's not all. I don't want to thank my friends and family only...I want to state the fact that I am really proud of myself for turning life around like I did a couple of years ago as well...Maybe it sounds conceited, I know...but I am really happy that I got to beat things and I'm really proud of having shown to myself that I can do certain things.
This year has been a bit strange; leaving the place I had been for so long and actually facing the challenge of meeting new people has been scary, but I've found a couple of people that are quite nice -well, that's a lie...they are VERY nice- and it hasn't been so bad. In fact, it's been great. Sure, this year has had its ups and downs and there has been moments where I got lost and reaaaally scared, but for the most part, it has been a great beginning of the year.
Well...I'll stop saying nonsense and go watch TV or something...I just wanted to jot down some things and go to bed knowing that I've gotten things out of my system.
This past few days have been great, I have to admit. Nothing to complain or be sad about. Can you actually believe I am happy with how my life turned out? ME? Of all people? The girl who sat on the corner and watched everybody else live and enjoy without joining the party? The one who actually considered the idea of ending her life or hurting herself and took matters into her own hands? Shocking, right?
Today was a good day: I woke up at 3 pm (approximately) and I went to the Abasto with my sister and a friend...and even though I didn't get to go to Starbucks or slept through the nice, I was in a good mood. At some point, I started thinking (I know, shocking, ha?) and realized there are many things I should be really really thankful for, and for those, I am...but sometimes I don't say it aloud when I should.
It's no secret that I've had my share of bad times and bad decisions and all that..but sometimes I believe it remains like a secret the fact that I am truly grateful for having won the battle against my poor judgment.If it weren't for a couple of people, I really don't know where would I be, or if I'd be here at all. So this post goes out to everyone who helped me, whether they did it consciously or not. But that's not all. I don't want to thank my friends and family only...I want to state the fact that I am really proud of myself for turning life around like I did a couple of years ago as well...Maybe it sounds conceited, I know...but I am really happy that I got to beat things and I'm really proud of having shown to myself that I can do certain things.
This year has been a bit strange; leaving the place I had been for so long and actually facing the challenge of meeting new people has been scary, but I've found a couple of people that are quite nice -well, that's a lie...they are VERY nice- and it hasn't been so bad. In fact, it's been great. Sure, this year has had its ups and downs and there has been moments where I got lost and reaaaally scared, but for the most part, it has been a great beginning of the year.
Well...I'll stop saying nonsense and go watch TV or something...I just wanted to jot down some things and go to bed knowing that I've gotten things out of my system.
This past few days have been great, I have to admit. Nothing to complain or be sad about. Can you actually believe I am happy with how my life turned out? ME? Of all people? The girl who sat on the corner and watched everybody else live and enjoy without joining the party? The one who actually considered the idea of ending her life or hurting herself and took matters into her own hands? Shocking, right?
21.7.09
Opening up to people can feel really good...even better if it's someone you truly love and trust.
Later on today I think I'll go to Starbucks, but for now, the only thing I have to look forward to is sleeping, but that future ain't looking so bright given the fact it's raining outside and I have a really hard time sleeping with the sounds of the pouring rain...
Still, I'm happy! Today was a good day and I had a great time with my friends at home. Nothing like a good and unhealthy meal, good company and a nice game of TEG to make you feel happy...wait, I can think of a couple of better things...oh, well...it was great!
Btw, I'm still planning on winning the quini tomorrow, just so you know. Cross your fingers for me (please!)
Later on today I think I'll go to Starbucks, but for now, the only thing I have to look forward to is sleeping, but that future ain't looking so bright given the fact it's raining outside and I have a really hard time sleeping with the sounds of the pouring rain...
Still, I'm happy! Today was a good day and I had a great time with my friends at home. Nothing like a good and unhealthy meal, good company and a nice game of TEG to make you feel happy...wait, I can think of a couple of better things...oh, well...it was great!
Btw, I'm still planning on winning the quini tomorrow, just so you know. Cross your fingers for me (please!)
20.7.09
Today I managed to write scenes 1 to 4 of the movie I want to make...and I had a dream of a scene I'll have to write later on and I loved what went on...Oh my god, I'm so happy and knowing that makes me even happier!! I'm a bit strange, right? But I feel great and good things are happening and I'm planning on better things to happen in a near future, so why the heck wouldn't I allow myself to feel great about it?! Life's good, man...I'll enjoy it for once
11.7.09
10.7.09
9.7.09
Some times I swear I can't understand what the heck is wrong with the place i live in...how is it that the police can do nothing to prevent a drug addict-who is smoking a joint on the street- from ruining the life of a child? Maybe I live in the wrong neighborhood and, somewhere else, it is in fact different, but come on!! I wish I could understand just how their minds got so messed up in the first place...I mean, I just witnessed the police telling to a young mother that she could walk away after they were called because some one saw them smoking pot and drinking just next to the kid. I understand that people are free and that one should be able to do what one pleases...but there's certain degree where it's not so black and white and someone should step in. My mom just got shot down by two of the hot-lines you are supposed to call to if you see something like that, claiming that they can't do anything unless the woman is homeless or the kid is not hers...so I guess when I am older and have a baby, I'll take my child freely to the road and smoke a joint and be safe because supposedly I'm not doing anything wrong. Correct me if I'm wrong, but someone should do something to stop it...The police just stood by because they couldn't search the woman for being a female and, instead of actually calling a female cop to search her and make sure she was clean, they let her go...I don't know if the circumstances would be anything different if I was that cop, but I'd like to think that I'd call a police woman even if there was a lot of paperwork involved later on...
I spend my days thinking about my future and how badly I want to fight to make this place a better one...but sometimes I am taken aback by stupid people like these (and with "these", I mean the cops and the woman as well) and I wonder if there truly is hope...All I can say is that, when I grow up, I will do nothing of that sort...I dream with having a family and being happy, and I can't believe how stupid some people are and how easily they can mess it up...What amazes me the most, is that the world is filled with people, couples with a strong desire of starting a family and giving their best to be happy and to offer their kids a bright future, and the miracle of life keeps being given to stupid woman and men such as this one...Some times life is just unfair, right?
Man, I feel like hitting a wall and then continue onto the woman's face. Poor kid who has to endure that kind of parent. For those of us who complain about our parents when a fight comes to surface, just think about this and how cases like these are currently popping up like crazy...we could be a lot worse, don't you think?
8.7.09
7.7.09
This is completely random, I know, but I want to go to NYC. I want to go there and walk around the streets and go to all those places we hear about and find interesting places by myself...just take the subway and go somewhere and go from there. And I know that by now NYC is a place full of tourists and that there are more immigrants there than real north Americans, but either way, I want to visit the place. And now that I'm writing this story about Erin and David, who live on the city, I imagine being in front of the Hudson River and walking around the Manhattan streets...
Maybe it's stupid...but maybe all these things I've been thinking about are what I've been looking for in order to be happier. I'm not saying I'm not happy...just that for some months now I've been feeling like something's missing, and I'm starting to realize(well, I noticed it a long time ago) that it is those stupid details I kinda ignored before that I can find a reason to pull out a smile.
Maybe it's stupid...but maybe all these things I've been thinking about are what I've been looking for in order to be happier. I'm not saying I'm not happy...just that for some months now I've been feeling like something's missing, and I'm starting to realize(well, I noticed it a long time ago) that it is those stupid details I kinda ignored before that I can find a reason to pull out a smile.
6.7.09
5.7.09
Now I start a whole different entry because what I want to say has nothing to do with the things I said in the last one.
Today I spent my whole day thinking about my life -I know, how egocentric of me to do that- and I started asking myself what I wanted to make out of it. So my mind quickly was filled with dreams and fantasies and things that others may find stupid, but it was great for me...After all the thinking and questions I asked to myself, I found the answer to the question I've been asking myself for so many years: what will it take for me to be happy? I want to fulfill all those fantasies and dreams, and I know now that they are not so beyond my reach. Maybe some things ARE stupid even for me...but the more I think about some of them, the more they make sense to me...I want to be a teacher, that one we all know...but I also want to be a film maker.
For the past couple of days I've been thinking of Erin and David, two of my characters that I've fallen in love with (weird, ha?), and every time I close my eyes I picture the whole movie being screened on the back of my lids. I imagine the scene where they talk for the first time, when he buys her the coffee...I swear to god I see their faces and hear their voices...and I know it's crazy for me to expect to find the people that made me think of the characters, but I want to do it and I want to say to them : "look, dude, you were like an inspiration for me and you didn't even know it". Why do I want to do it? Because imagine how cool it would be for someone to approach you and tell you that you've changed their lives forever just by standing there. I would want to know it, even if it's as silly as what happened to me.
I know, I'm talking nonsense right now...but in my mind it makes soooooooooooooooo much sense. Even if it takes for me to live on the street and be broke half the time to pursue my dreams, I'm ready to do it. For years, the idea of studying direction has been on my mind and I've let others put that fire out and I really don't want to do it again. Teaching is what I want to do for a job...directing movies -or writing them- is what I want to do to feel complete with myself. Does it make ANY sense?
The other day I was talking to my sister in law and she was saying that everywhere she looked at, she saw the things through a camera lens, and as soon as she said that I could relate...because everywhere I look, I see a scene, something I could shoot if I had a camera.
Maybe it's a little late for new year's resolutions, but I didn't know them at the time and now I do: I want to follow that dream and exploit it, and I want to write the whole story I've made up in my mind for Erin and David.
And for those who care about what else I dreamt about all day, here it is: I thought about moving in with my boyfriend, about being happy and being a family together... I thought of spending the night with him for the first time...about being happy with my friends and be thirty and still hung out with them and laugh and be as silly as we are now....I dreamed about looking myself in the mirror and actually seeing a person I like, and now I know that is possible. It took me a long time to get to this place and, even though there are some things that aren't quite *there* yet, I know that if I put my mind to it, I will reach what I want to do.
Wow, I now realize that I'm sounding like a new age groupie with that whole "if you really want it, you can achieve your goal" crap, but I'm actually thinking that. Okay, it won't be handed in a silver platter, but if I keep trusting the girl I see in the mirror and listening to her, maybe I can get to the place I want to be at. Do you get where I'm going with this?
As a sum up (and this goes out for everyone that might get to this blog and read this and find themselves related with what I'm writing): don't let others choose your path, because you'll regret it some day. It happened to me, so believe my words.
Me :)
Today I spent my whole day thinking about my life -I know, how egocentric of me to do that- and I started asking myself what I wanted to make out of it. So my mind quickly was filled with dreams and fantasies and things that others may find stupid, but it was great for me...After all the thinking and questions I asked to myself, I found the answer to the question I've been asking myself for so many years: what will it take for me to be happy? I want to fulfill all those fantasies and dreams, and I know now that they are not so beyond my reach. Maybe some things ARE stupid even for me...but the more I think about some of them, the more they make sense to me...I want to be a teacher, that one we all know...but I also want to be a film maker.
For the past couple of days I've been thinking of Erin and David, two of my characters that I've fallen in love with (weird, ha?), and every time I close my eyes I picture the whole movie being screened on the back of my lids. I imagine the scene where they talk for the first time, when he buys her the coffee...I swear to god I see their faces and hear their voices...and I know it's crazy for me to expect to find the people that made me think of the characters, but I want to do it and I want to say to them : "look, dude, you were like an inspiration for me and you didn't even know it". Why do I want to do it? Because imagine how cool it would be for someone to approach you and tell you that you've changed their lives forever just by standing there. I would want to know it, even if it's as silly as what happened to me.
I know, I'm talking nonsense right now...but in my mind it makes soooooooooooooooo much sense. Even if it takes for me to live on the street and be broke half the time to pursue my dreams, I'm ready to do it. For years, the idea of studying direction has been on my mind and I've let others put that fire out and I really don't want to do it again. Teaching is what I want to do for a job...directing movies -or writing them- is what I want to do to feel complete with myself. Does it make ANY sense?
The other day I was talking to my sister in law and she was saying that everywhere she looked at, she saw the things through a camera lens, and as soon as she said that I could relate...because everywhere I look, I see a scene, something I could shoot if I had a camera.
Maybe it's a little late for new year's resolutions, but I didn't know them at the time and now I do: I want to follow that dream and exploit it, and I want to write the whole story I've made up in my mind for Erin and David.
And for those who care about what else I dreamt about all day, here it is: I thought about moving in with my boyfriend, about being happy and being a family together... I thought of spending the night with him for the first time...about being happy with my friends and be thirty and still hung out with them and laugh and be as silly as we are now....I dreamed about looking myself in the mirror and actually seeing a person I like, and now I know that is possible. It took me a long time to get to this place and, even though there are some things that aren't quite *there* yet, I know that if I put my mind to it, I will reach what I want to do.
Wow, I now realize that I'm sounding like a new age groupie with that whole "if you really want it, you can achieve your goal" crap, but I'm actually thinking that. Okay, it won't be handed in a silver platter, but if I keep trusting the girl I see in the mirror and listening to her, maybe I can get to the place I want to be at. Do you get where I'm going with this?
As a sum up (and this goes out for everyone that might get to this blog and read this and find themselves related with what I'm writing): don't let others choose your path, because you'll regret it some day. It happened to me, so believe my words.
Me :)
Today I remembered how much I love to yell stupidities and laugh like crazy...I'm not saying that I hadn't done it for a while, it's just that today I realized how good it feels inside.
It was a good day today, so I guess what I said to my dad about the luck it brings to find a penny on the street checks out. The coffee was good and the company was too. Although I must say I missed my boyfriend a lot, and seeing my friends with they respective loved ones made me a bit jealous -there are some things that one must admit-.
Me.
It was a good day today, so I guess what I said to my dad about the luck it brings to find a penny on the street checks out. The coffee was good and the company was too. Although I must say I missed my boyfriend a lot, and seeing my friends with they respective loved ones made me a bit jealous -there are some things that one must admit-.
Me.
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