Tales of Fake

Life is a funny thing. Y'all must be already bored out of your minds of me talking about this if you took the time to read my past posts, but every time I wrote it, something important came to mind and it still happens. Today, my big sister turns 21. I'm happy for her. She's old enough to do whatever she wants, she's at the age that many call the prime of your life...but it just dawn on me that it happened so fast. This is not a comment that would usually come out of an annoying aunt's mouth, talking about who fast the little girl grew...it is simple a statement of the truth.
My thought isn't only based on my sister...it's on everybody else as well. It's not going to take long for me to get to that age...it's not going to take long to get there to my friends...and it's not going to take long to get to that age to my nieces. I swear to God, that last one is what troubles me the most: they are so cute and small -and bony in the case of Marti- and, sometimes, when I start thinking about them but older, it's really weird. Marti is just nine, and it's only a few years until she turns 15...and I can already see her wanting a big party and all that stuff. It's shocking to think that if she throws one and I attend, I will be in my late twenties.
Sometimes I feel like I haven't played my cards properly, like I could've done so much more than what I did. I feel like I have wasted my time most of the times...I recognize the good things but still...I wonder about all the times I said to myself "carpe diem, my friend" and I question myself whether I payed attention to that or not. Sometimes, I can't help but to answer myself "you haven't".
Don't mistake my words and think I am not happy with my life. I'm so ecstatic about it and I love pretty much every minute of it...but I wonder what could've been if I had change my sad face for a happy smile back in the days where I felt everything was dark. Something tells me that that year would've been incredible for me.
Oh, well...That's that. I'm done thinking "what if"s and silly thoughts about time. I guess the more time I spend thinking about it, the less time I spend actually living it and enjoying it.
Happy birthday, sis! Sometimes, we are blessed to have you...(and sometimes, you act like a grinch and it is not so much a blessing but a curse...but it's okay)