Tales of Fake

I was just thinking about something, and after a while of speaking to myself aloud, I realized something rather creepy...
2006 was a tough year for me...but until now, I hadn't ever realized that I don't a have a single good memory of that year...If I close my eyes and try hard enough, I can think of a good memory or a smile that happened some other year, but no matter how hard I try, not a hint of a smile comes up throughout the course of 2006. If I think about it, everything that pops up is pain,tears, blood and pills and "suffering" that could've been avoided...but not one single smile...Every time I'm close to remembering a good moment, I realize that it either had bad consequences or that it was a fake smile to cover up the tears...It's so sick to think about it, but it is the truth...I feel like I've lost a whole year of my life and I can't do anything about it...I wish I could remember one single genuine smile during that year...but I can't find one. Every thing is anger or pain or jealousy...